Remaining calm and focused in stressful situations can be challenging. However, by enhancing our emotional intelligence, we can better manage emotional hijacking, enabling us to make rational decisions, build resilience, and strengthen our relationships.
THE POWER OF EMOTION | CHAPTER 5 | OVERVIEW
Mastering Your Emotions: Essential Strategies for Control
In our rapidly changing and unpredictable world, it's easy to become overwhelmed by our emotions. Whether it's stress from work, conflicts in personal relationships, or unexpected challenges, these situations can trigger intense emotional reactions that hijack our ability to think clearly and act rationally. This phenomenon, known as emotional hijacking, can lead to impulsive decisions, strained relationships, and even physical health issues. But it doesn't have to be this way. Understanding the mechanisms behind emotional hijacking and implementing effective strategies to manage our emotions allows us to maintain control even in the most challenging situations. This blog will explore practical tips and techniques to help you stay calm, focused, and in control in times of stress. From mindfulness practices to cognitive reframing, these tools will empower you to navigate life's ups and downs with grace and resilience.
Emotional Hijacking Is Real and Why You Need to Avoid It
Who hasn’t been in a situation where their emotions took over, and they behaved irrationally? When such a problem occurs, we call it “emotional hijacking.” Our emotions become overwhelmed and take control of our behaviour. Intense emotions drive us to react impulsively, most often to our disadvantage. Of course, there is a better way to deal with these emotions.
Avoiding emotional hijacking leads to a more balanced, fulfilling, and successful life. Avoiding emotional hijacking is essential for several reasons:
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Better Decision-Making: Emotional hijacking can lead to impulsive and irrational decisions. By maintaining control, you can think more clearly and make better, more informed choices.
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Improved Relationships: Emotional outbursts can harm personal and professional relationships. Controlling emotions helps communicate effectively and maintain healthy interactions.
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Increased Productivity: Emotional hijacking can distract you from tasks and reduce efficiency. Staying calm and focused enhances your productivity and performance.
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Physical Health: Chronic stress and emotional turmoil can lead to health issues like high blood pressure, heart disease, and a weakened immune system. Managing emotions contributes to overall well-being.
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Mental Health: Emotional regulation is crucial for maintaining mental health. It helps in reducing anxiety, depression, and other emotional disorders.
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Self-Esteem and Confidence: Controlling your emotions boosts self-esteem and confidence. It empowers you to handle challenges and setbacks more effectively.
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Professional Success: In the workplace, emotional intelligence is highly valued. Those who manage their emotions genuinely are more reliable and capable leaders.
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Conflict Resolution: Keeping emotions in check helps in resolving conflicts more constructively. It allows for a calm and rational approach to problem-solving.
You Can Redirect an Emotional Hijacking Situation
Shifting our thoughts can quickly stop the hijacking from occurring. Some of us are better at redirecting our thoughts than others, but we can strengthen these skills with practice. It only takes 6 seconds to shift our brain. For example, something as simple as your ability to breathe can save you from an emotional hijacking. Just taking two or three deep breaths and slowly exhaling can do the trick—your sole objective is to become calm and regain control of highly charged emotions.
Once you regulate your emotions, you can peacefully move forward and manage the situation.
Straightforward Techniques to Control an Emotional Hijacking
Controlling an emotional hijacking involves quickly recognizing the emotional response and employing techniques to regain control. By incorporating these techniques into your daily routine. You can build resilience against emotional hijacking and maintain better control over your emotional responses. Here are some straightforward ways to manage and control an emotional hijacking:
1. Pause and Breathe
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Deep Breathing: Take slow, deep breaths to calm your nervous system. Inhale deeply through your nose, hold for a few seconds, and then exhale slowly through your mouth.
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Count to Ten: Give yourself a moment to pause by slowly counting to ten before responding to a situation.
2. Acknowledge Your Emotions
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Name the Emotion: Identify and name the emotion you are experiencing (e.g., anger, frustration, sadness). Acknowledging the emotion can help reduce its intensity.
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Self-Talk: Use positive self-talk to remind yourself that it’s okay to feel these emotions and that you are in control.
3. Practice Mindfulness
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Stay Present: Focus on the present moment rather than ruminating on the past or worrying about the future.
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Grounding Techniques: Engage your senses by noticing what you can see, hear, touch, taste, and smell around you.
4. Use Cognitive Reframing
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Challenge Negative Thoughts: Identify and challenge any irrational or negative thoughts fueling your emotions.
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Reframe the Situation: Try to see the situation from a different perspective. Ask yourself if there is another way to interpret what’s happening.
5. Engage in Physical Activity
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Exercise: Physical activity can help reduce stress and improve your mood. Take a walk, stretch, or take a quick workout.
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Movement Breaks: Even simple movements like stretching or changing your posture can help reset your emotional state.
6. Remove Yourself from the Situation
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Take a Break: Step away from the triggering situation for a few minutes to gain perspective and composure.
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Change Your Environment: A change of scenery can help you calm down and think more clearly.
7. Use Relaxation Techniques
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Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Tense and slowly release each muscle group in your body.
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Visualization: Imagine a peaceful and calming place or situation to help reduce stress.
8. Talk to Someone
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Seek Support: Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or counsellor about what you’re experiencing.
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Verbalize Your Feelings: Expressing your emotions verbally can help release tension and provide clarity.
9. Practice Gratitude
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Focus on Positives: Shift your focus to things you are grateful for. This behaviour can help counterbalance negative emotions.
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Gratitude Journal: Write down a few things you are thankful for daily to cultivate a positive mindset.
10. Develop Emotional Awareness
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Reflect on Triggers: Spend time reflecting on what triggers your emotional hijacking. Understanding your triggers can help you prepare for and manage future situations.
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Emotional Intelligence: Work on improving your emotional intelligence by recognizing and understanding your emotions and those of others.
11. Use Humor
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Find Humor: Look for something humorous to lighten the mood and reduce stress.
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Laugh: Engage in activities that make you laugh, such as watching a funny video or reading a humorous book.
There is a Better Way
As we develop our emotional intelligence, we become more self-aware, better understand our strengths and areas needing development, and reduce emotional hijacking. Plus, it becomes easier to be aware of our emotions and those of others. When we observe others’ emotions, we become more intuitive and learn ways to bring out the best in those around us.
By building our emotional intelligence, we can navigate challenging behaviours, enhance resilience, make better decisions, strengthen relationships, and positively influence others. My book, The Power of Emotion, provides numerous strategies to help you reduce emotional hijacking.
This article was originally published on June 15, 2021, and was updated (September 2024).
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